


Sorting Struggles

by Eccentric_Musician16



Category: K-pop, VIXX
Genre: Gen, Harry Potter House Sorting, Or at least attempted sorting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-23
Updated: 2016-11-23
Packaged: 2018-09-01 19:08:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8634544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eccentric_Musician16/pseuds/Eccentric_Musician16
Summary: Jaehwan and Hongbin try to sort everyone into their appropriate Hogwarts Houses. It goes about as smoothly as one could expect.





	

**Author's Note:**

> House sorting is serious business and the discourse is so very real.
> 
> Also know that everything is open to interpretation as I've seen tons of different reasons why each member could fit into each house. Just know that even they don't know what houses they'd be in and it's just chaos all around.

Sanghyuk looked up from his textbook, blankly glaring into the distance for a few seconds before balefully tossing his gaze over his shoulder.

“Can you not?” he grumbled. “I can practically feel you staring. It’s making my skin crawl.”

Jaehwan dutifully ignored him and continued to stare unabashedly.

Sanghyuk was just about to reach for his eraser and lob it at the vocalist’s face when Jaehwan let out a delighted yell, startling him.

“Gryffindor! Totally a Gryffindor!” He nodded to himself with an air of childish self-satisfaction. “Isn’t that right Binnie?”

Hongbin looked up from his phone, glancing between Jaehwan’s giddy smile and Sanghyuk’s confused visage. His head tilted thoughtfully, a quiet hum escaping from the back of his throat.

“I don’t know, hyung. Doesn’t he seem more like a Ravenclaw?”

Jaehwan’s eyes widened. “You think?” He turned back to Sanghyuk, hand coming up to rub his chin in thought. “Actually, you might be on to something there.”

Sanghyuk stared at them both. “What,” he said, blandly.

Jaehwan and Hongbin paid him no mind, too deeply lost in their conversation.

“So that means we have two Gryffindors, two Slytherins, a Hufflepuff and possibly a Ravenclaw?”

“No, we agreed on two Gryffindors, a Slytherin and two Hufflepuffs.”

“Binnie, as much as you try to deny it, Hakyeon-hyung is a Slytherin. He’s as Slytherin as a Slytherin could be. The very epitome of Slytherin-ness; the poster boy even.”

“No he’s not, he’s a Hufflepuff or even a Gryffindor. But he’s definitely not a Slytherin.”

A smirk. “You just don’t want to share a house with him, admit it.”

“Are you two arguing over Hogwarts Houses?” Sanghyuk asked incredulously, speaking over Hongbin’s growl. “As in Harry Potter Hogwarts Houses?”

“What other Hogwarts Houses are there?” Jaehwan gave him a stern look. “But yes, we are and it is a matter of the utmost urgency. We’ve all been together for years and not once have we assigned people their houses. Our friendship is not truly valid until we do so.”

Wonshik and Taekwoon coming through the front door, no doubt having returned from their schedules, spared Jaehwan from Sanghyuk’s witty reply.

“Hufflepuff and Gryffindor!” Hongbin and Jaehwan yelled, pointing at the startled pair.

“Holy shit,” Wonshik breathed. Beside him, Taekwoon clasped a hand dramatically over his chest, trying to calm his racing heart. “What the–?”

“Although,” Jaehwan hummed, “You could argue that Wonshikkie could also be a Ravenclaw.” He crossed his arms, nodding at is words. “The way he is with producing and composing reminds me of how Ravenclaws act with their studies.”

Hongbin waved him off. “Nah, he’s totally a Hufflepuff.” He walked over to the pair, getting up into Taekwoon’s face to examine it closely. Taekwoon automatically leaned back, eyes still wide from shock. “Now Taekwoon-hyung on the other hand… you sure he isn’t a Slytherin? He’s got the ambition for it.”

Jaehwan looked thoughtful, furrowing his brow in that way he did whenever he was thinking long and hard about something important.

Wonshik daintily placed a hand on Taekwoon’s arm. This was Jaehwan they were dealing with; you never knew what would come out of his mouth. He had to prepare himself for the very real possibility of Taekwoon attempting to commit first-degree murder in their living room.

Finally, Jaehwan shook his head. "He’s too hot headed for it. We all know he’s a Gryffindor.”

Wonshik sighed in relief. Crisis averted.

“Besides, just because he looks like a slightly less pissed-off younger version of Severus Snape on a good day,” Wonshik could feel the elder tense beneath his hand as Sanghyuk gleefully cackled, “it doesn’t mean you can sort him into Slytherin.”

Oh no, Wonshik thought. _Oh no_.

Before any of them could say a word Taekwoon launched himself at Jaehwan, a deadly gleam in his eye and murder in his heart. The younger vocalist let out a short scream, before turning tail and attempting to escape.

He didn’t get very far before Taekwoon tackled him. The two collapsed onto the living room floor with a few pained grunts and a heavy thud, landing just shy of Sanghyuk.

“Oi,” he yelled. He grabbed his textbook and pulled it away from the violently wrestling pair, quickly shifting away. “Watch it will you?

Hongbin and Wonshik watched silently in horrified fascination.

At that moment, Hakyeon emerged from his bedroom; scowl fully formed. His brow rose at what he saw.

“What the hell is going on?” He griped, resting a hand on his hip and shifting his weight to one side. “I leave the room for five minutes and suddenly Taekwoon is pulling Jaehwan into a chokehold. Again.”

“Hogwarts Houses,” Sanghyuk said, inching away from the commotion. He came to stand beside the unimpressed Hakyeon. “They’re a pretty big deal apparently.”

Hakyeon looked at him, long and hard, before rolling his eyes so violently Sanghyuk was surprised they didn't roll out of his head.

“Of course,” he said. “Well, let me call up Kkhome-hyung and tell him we may or may not be one member short this comeback.”

Wonshik made a little noise as he watched Hakyeon spin on his heel and calmly walk back to his room. “Aren’t you gonna stop ‘em?” he asked quietly.

Hakyeon looked back at him, eyes dead serious. “The three warning rule exists for a reason, Wonshik. Jaehwan is just going to have to suffer the consequences.”

He left, the door to his room clicking softly with a horrible sense of finality.

“Oh my god,” Hongbin whispered, shocked and somewhat horrified. “He really _is_ a Slytherin.”

The three remaining members looked back at the wresting vocalists. Not necessarily wanting Jaehwan to be horribly killed, but also not willing to get in the way of an enraged Taekwoon.

Sanghyuk slid towards Hongbin, nudging his shoulder.

“So, what exactly does being a Ravenclaw entail, I’m curious.”

 

+++++

 

In another time and another place, Sanghyuk pulled back from the crystal ball. He shook his head, trying to get his bearings back.

“Whoa, that was trippy,” he said.

He reached for his wand, whispering a soft command, and watched as the ball rose into the air, floating back to its proper place on a far shelf. It was filled with an assortment of potion bottles, talismans, and dusty books.

He took a moment to straighten his robes. He had to report to Professor McGonagall and tell her that his idea worked. With the right charms, crystal balls _could_ be used to see more than just the near future. They could peak into other dimensions as well.

But that could wait, he had a much more important matter at hand.

“Pop stars. Of all the things we could be, we’re a bunch of singing and dancing pop stars. The others will get a kick out of this.” He smirked. “And wait till I tell Taekwoon that he got compared to Professor Snape. He’s gonna _hate_ it.”

**Author's Note:**

> Let's just say they all have very different reactions when Sanghyuk tells them. Jaehwan finds it hilarious, Hongbin is horrified, Taekwoon and Wonshik are mildly intrigued, and Hakyeon is highly skeptical of it all.
> 
> Taekwoon may or may not have thrown a couple mild hexes at Sanghyuk for the Snape comparison.
> 
> And yes, McGonagall is as exasperated as you would imagine.


End file.
